I’m sure he meant to say “Shi’ite”

Yeah, the President uttered a curse word while speaking to Tony Blair at the G-8 Summit, unaware an open mike was recording their conversation. Hey, who doesn’t want to curse when discussing the Middle East? I was more disheartened by his lack of engagement about the whole process. I think peace is going to take something more involved than “Hey, would ya keep that racket down?!”

Unfortunately, this is about the only example of hands-on diplomacy from Dubya. Now this is what the press would focus on if Clinton were still president.

Homeland Insecurity

Good news for anyone worried that Al Qaeda uses your community newsletter’s weekend calendar section to choose its targets: A report by the Department of Homeland Security’s own Inspector General found that “the department’s database of vulnerable critical infrastructure and key resources included an insect zoo, a bourbon festival, a bean fest and a kangaroo conservation center.” On the other hand, the database failed to list Times Square, the Empire State Building, the Brooklyn Bridge and the Statue of Liberty as national icons or monuments.

Ouch! And I thought Edie Falco getting snubbed by the Emmys was bad. On the positive side, if you’re a kangaroo, you can breathe easy now. Unless you’re in New York City to see the sights.

Putin on the kids

I’m sure many of you have heard about this story about Russian President Vladimir Putin’s recent attempt to get in touch with his inner child. Okay, it wasn’t inner and it wasn’t his. But I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for his behavior and I’ve come up with 10 possibilities:

Top Ten Reasons Putin Kissed That Boy’s Stomach:

10. Forgot to kiss that kid as a baby 4 years ago and is making up for lost time.
9. Clearly somebody slipped Putin some primo Ex.
8. He’s working on his Michael Jackson impression and he can’t moonwalk yet.
7. Desperate cry from a world leader, and launching missiles was already taken.
6. People have wildly underestimated the Catholic Church’s influence on Russian politics.
5. Preparing to pitch his life story to Gregg Araki.
4. Scientology’s P.R. department strikes again!
3. KGB now stands for Kiss Good Boy.
2. Vodka shots at 9 in the morning seemed like a good idea at the time.
1. Fulfilling constitutional duty to go crazy as President, just like Yeltsin.