I’m sure many of you have heard about this story about Russian President Vladimir Putin’s recent attempt to get in touch with his inner child. Okay, it wasn’t inner and it wasn’t his. But I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation for his behavior and I’ve come up with 10 possibilities:
Top Ten Reasons Putin Kissed That Boy’s Stomach:
10. Forgot to kiss that kid as a baby 4 years ago and is making up for lost time.
9. Clearly somebody slipped Putin some primo Ex.
8. He’s working on his Michael Jackson impression and he can’t moonwalk yet.
7. Desperate cry from a world leader, and launching missiles was already taken.
6. People have wildly underestimated the Catholic Church’s influence on Russian politics.
5. Preparing to pitch his life story to Gregg Araki.
4. Scientology’s P.R. department strikes again!
3. KGB now stands for Kiss Good Boy.
2. Vodka shots at 9 in the morning seemed like a good idea at the time.
1. Fulfilling constitutional duty to go crazy as President, just like Yeltsin.
